Owwy

This is not good. I have done ... well something at least ... to my back, and it hurts! I am used to back pain, having suffered it almost constantly for the last 5 years, but this has knocked me for six. It's right up there in the worst pain I have experienced.

I am really struggling to sit and do anything productive. I can't stand and chat to people. I discovered earlier today that I can't sneeze either ... that's not a good discovery in cold and flu season. I've spent 2 days maxing out my pain meds and on a TENS machine to no avail. I may have to admit defeat and go to a doctor for something else. I hate having to ask the docs for stronger meds, it makes me feel like I'm being judged. Crazy? Yes, of course it is, I have a chronic pain condition and the meds aren't touching the sides, of course I need something stronger. I doesn't make me think they judge me any less though.

Even more annoying for me is the fact that I've had to take time off work. I work in an environment where you only take time off if you're on your death bed - and even then I think they'd like photographic evidence(!) I have several colleagues with back problems - one of whom is awaiting a surgical procedure - and they go to work every day. Good for them, I say.

When all comes to all, I'm 27. I am not about to aggravate an injury by going into work when I know in my heart I shouldn't. I will not rush my recovery because John manages to come in with a bad back. More fool John I say. And you know why? Spines have memories. Any attempt to rush them back into full service will come back to bite you. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not this year or this decade. But eventually, some day, you will discover that there is damage to your back that cannot be undone. That cannot be helped. That you do have to live with.

Me? I'd rather lose a few days pay now than have to quit a job I really love later because I can't cope with the pain any more. Next time a colleague takes time off for an injury you would power through, just think about that.